For the first time in nearly two decades this past summer I found myself in between jobs with a few weeks to kill. I decided to do a few things while I internally panicked about finding a new job. I started this blog, (YAAAAAAS!) and put on 15 pounds in the interim as I ate my way through food posts that never even made it onto the site, just onto my thighs (sad face) that brings me to this post. Don’t worry this is not a weight loss post it’s about a conversation I had with my Dad while I was home visiting with him in Delaware.
My mother passed away six years ago after battling brain cancer for a year. It was the most difficult thing my family has ever gone through and if you’ve ever lost a parent you know exactly what I’m talking about. The sorrow was not solely placed on the loss of the woman I call the greatest Mother in the world but my heart ached for the life I know my mother wanted to continue living. Besides the broken hearts that have gotten stronger every day since her passing, my mother left behind more importantly memories of compassion, love, joy, laughter and togetherness that will last forever in my mind. She also left behind a basement full of arts and crafts items. Many of the items we still used at Christmas and other holidays because they were beautiful reminders of my mother’s creativity and passion. The beautiful pine needle garland placed across the fire place mantle and around the stair railing, the porcelain nativity scene and the light up snowman that we put out ever year to make Christmas, Christmas were all happy reminders of great holidays past but there were also boxes upon boxes of stuff that my mother never had a chance to use.
Every couple months we would have a discussion about what to do with all of the crafts she left behind. The answer finally came this past summer. My sister became a principal at an elementary school in DC and her art department was in dire need of supplies. So we decided to give all of the crafts we were not using to the school. My mother would be so happy to know that something that brought her so much joy is now being put to good use.
While I was home helping my Dad separate and pack up all of the crafts we began talking about life and moving forward and it made me think about the many transitions that we all go through in life whether it be a death of a parent, a spouse, the birth of a child, the end of a job or just growing older. Change is inevitable and you are the only person responsible for how you deal with those transitions.
I decided that since I was going through a lot of changes at the current moment I should sit down with my Dad and pic his brain on some of his life transitions. In hopes they would inspire me. Here’s the short and sweet of it.
Donna: What did being married for 36 years teach you?
My Dad: That’s a hard question. In the relationship it taught me how to become caring and more loving. It taught me that it can be over in a blink of an eye so you need to make time and enjoy your mate. 36 years of marriage teaches you what you should be doing and what you shouldn’t be doing. Sometimes there are toxic people around you and you have to get away from those people for the sake of your relationship and your family. You know to me life is like musical chairs and one day the music is going to stop for all of us. I’ve enjoyed playing the game and I thank God for the people that have taught me lessons. The people that have blessed me. I really do.
Donna: What has living alone in your seventies taught you?
My Dad: Living alone in your seventies is good because if you’ve done what you were supposed to do, when you were supposed to do it, you can now do what you want to do free of guilt and that’s how I live.
Greatest accomplishment? My children and my marriage
Donna: Who do you admire the most?
My Dad: I would say my father and my mother. My father gave me two pieces of advice. He made us eat our vegetables first and to this day I still do that. I don’t eat that much meat so when I do it’s more of a treat. When I grew up there wasn’t that much meat going around. We were eating organic and didn’t even realize it. Secondly, my father told me how to save money. He told me that the first thing I needed to do after getting paid is to take 10 cents out of every dollar and it has paid off 10 fold. In my life time I’ve been able to save over 25% of my earnings by the time I retired. You have to be like the ant that works all summer so it can be comfortable in the winter. I’m very comfortable.
Donna: What has owing a pet (Ruben above) encouraged you to do?
My Dad: Not have another one (laughs) just kidding. I love that little dog. If it were not for that dog after your mother passed, there were days I don’t think I would have gotten out of bed. He’s been a real blessing.
When do you feel most happy?
My Dad: I feel happiest when I’m meditating and when I’m out in my yard.
Donna: Where would you like to be in five years?
My Dad: Healthier than I am now.
Spending time with my Dad always makes me feel better even when I’m not at my best. Now as Autumn approaches and new projects are on the way I’m excited and nervous about what’s next in my career but certain what ever it is I’ll be up for the challenge. Now the 15 pounds that I’ve managed to add to my butt is a whole other post but I’ll keep that to my MyFitness Pal account friends.
Happy Autumn!!!
What transition are you going through this Fall?